this is a second (first) post

hey suckers:

listen, since i'm the only person in the global friend network who's not in the States currently, I think i've earned the distinction of being the first person to scratch his thoughts into this little cave wall we have here.

I'm not sure what we're going for here, but i have an idea. i had previously, like last fall, envisioned a group blog that would serve as a sort of forum for us three, where we'd joke around and comment on each other's stupid pictures. but lately i've been more in the mood to let fly longer form pieces about what's going on upstairs (not heaven but rather my brain). this is wierd, as i don't think i have to tell you, being in berlin, paris, zagreb or anywhere else i imagine.

it's wierd, for one, because i've been expecting what kind of things would effect me for a long time. i've been conscious of what would be hard, what would be uncomfortable, what i'd miss, how i'd change, etc. for years. older friends went abroad and i saw what happened when they came back, told about what it was like, how wierd it was to be back and why. no one could really put a finger on it, as i certainly can't now. but i think it's wierd, now, in the thick of it, having been here for almost exactly a month, how i can feel myself changing. i daresay it's not too unlike jeff goldblum turning into a fly.

i'm stuck between missing what i had before and totally letting go and digging into the city. they aren't really all or nothing choices, but i'm not sure if the latter option would be at the peril of losing the realtionships with places and people that i had before. and i also know that i'll be leaving this place, too, in just three short months. one's already down, man. shit flies, that's for sure. but now i'm trying to get to know the place as well as i can without getting attached? i dunno. i don't know what the hell i'm doing, and i don't have a strategy, that's for sure.

i should have come here with a strategy, probably. but here i am. trying to make the most of it, but it's damned near imossible for me to think concretely about anything (i need to do this, i need to go here, i need to meet people now, etc.) i just think, alright now i need to get to know the city! when i don't know what the hell that means. i just got to know DC. it just happened. i think, i need to meet germans! but i don't know how to meet americans, and we speak the same language. point is, i'm a whiny baby. comment.

i appeal to you other two global friends, write some preliminary hopes and fears for us. they'll be fun to read later on.

sincerely,
chris dewitt